Sad...=(

I'm getting rather drained mentally, emotionally, and physically lately...I feel like I'm going to faint all day and I feel as if my head will explode? To make matters worse, I have to raise up my grades and there's barely anytime left. I try and I try and yet...I still fail. Maybe I really am a failure? I usually don't let things get me down but this time, I'm just too tired to fight anymore. I'd rather just let everything engulf me than to keep on fighting. Though they don't mean to, everyone around me is pressuring me to excel in this or that, and I, I've just lost any will to try anymore. I just want to do good without fighting anymore, I don't have the energy or will to fight. Someone just please shoot me or something. Release me from this...suffocation. I am really at my wit's end...someone, anyone, help me please?

^o^

Ahahaha. Bern, you were right...I was watching the NGs of Wuzun and Jiro today and it seems that TYZ was making them NG also. ahaha. must be karma or something. =)

Dying...

I've been really stressed out and overwhelemed by school lately. My grades need to be raised up a lot, I need to practice a lot for PSG Auditions, plus stuff with Asteria. =.= GAH. Someone shoot me now. xD But I've calmed down a bit, this time thanks to VanNess! ^__^ I love his cute personality...He's my favorite ABC ever! =)



and his latest mv:


kakaka. why do his stylists/managers/producers always make him so scandalous?

er....

gah. bern, you are a very bad influence on me! You made me watch hana kimi, tokyo juliet, and it started with a kiss. =.= which i all finished in 2 days each by the way...>.< and now Po es very obsessed with DA DUDE. RAWR! now me, you, and candee spazz over DA BOMB, DA DUDE, JAEJOONG, AND YUNHO all day...xD and bern watch this:

Online Videos by Veoh.com

Isn't he kawaii when he said that they live in the same house? =)

sigh...I HATE PEOPLE!!!

gah. I WAS having a relatively good day today...and then I don't know...now I'm mad and sad? I've come to the conclusion that I really HATE forums..and now i remember why I never joined them in the first place...geez. Such inconsiderate, ignorant, mean, rude people.=.=' Seriously, Asteria is the ONLY forum that has every been welcoming, nice, caring, etc. that i've seen. I got a PM saying " Hi. This your first PM warning.
You did not edit or did not edit with a reasonable post in your following posts. Please re-edit.
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Please read the rules. " -_-' could they at least act like their nice??!? I mean on Asteria when people need to edit their posts...it's more like.."Hi. Sorry I had to delete your post on so and so thread because it was spam...^o^" You know what I mean?
It's not like the PMs are sent by robots, but actual people, actual feeling? I don't know. MAYBE I am overreacting. but I've been really sick and tired of people in general..I'm seriously about to slap people...>.< On lighter note, I'm really glad Bern, Hoi-san, and Sierra all passed preliminaries! Good luck guys! ^__^ GANBATTE!! ...I kinda wish i would pass too? Just so my day wouldn't end completely crappy...=.='

^o^

Aww....XING is such a cute group~~~! ^___^

xD

I took a colorgenics test and this is what i got: some of it seems true...and yet some seems kinda random...=)

Enough is enough - you feel frustrated and rejected. You are fighting back and the going is tough. It would be just wonderful if you could be left in peace.

Being impulsive and irritable, your desires and needs are paramount. You do things with insufficient thought - with little regard to the consequences that may follow. As a consequence of this attitude, you may be experiencing stress and conflict.

You feel that you deserve far more than is being attributed to you, but there is no-one to whom you can turn to for sympathy and understanding. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you will have to make the best of things as they are.

You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.

The need for admiration and to be regarded as 'someone special' is perhaps one of the foremost aims in your life at this time. You would like to perhaps do something outrageous or anything that will give you the chance to be recognised as someone special. This desire has now almost become an obsession and in your own way you are trying to fulfil this 'complex' by ensuring you are the centre of attention, both at work or play, or in the home. Stop trying so hard and you will find that people will like you for who you are - not for who you are pretending to be.